The Things Money Can Buy
by kjt1
Summary: Sam MC's a charity 'Date Auction' - take a guess as to what happens. :-) (Mainly J/D)
1. Default Chapter

TITLE: "The Things Money Can Buy"

RATING: PG

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own 'em.

SPOILERS: Umm, through Season 4, I guess.

NOTES: This is in response to a 'Date Auction' challenge on the JDFF list, but it has some other pairings as well. :-)

**

"Josh, you have an hour and a half free over lunch, you haven't made any plans, have you?"  
  
Josh looked up from his desk to find Donna standing in his doorway.

"Donna, if this is another attempt to get me to take you out for lunch, I'm sorry but I don't have time; I have a ton of stuff to read over." His tone held mild irritation and Donna's posture stiffened.

"Fine," she said, a little more harshly than she'd intended. "I'll tell Sam you can't meet him for lunch then." Her exit from the office was halted by Josh's voice.

"Sam? What are you talking about?"  
  
"He's on the phone to see if you can meet him for lunch; I'll tell him you're too busy," Donna replied, almost baiting him with her tone. Josh fell straight into the trap.

"No, wait, I can meet Sam for lunch."  
  
"You can?"

"Yeah, sure. I have an hour and a half, I can do that."

"So, you can spare the time to meet Sam for lunch but, you're too busy to take me out for lunch like a good boss would do once in a while?" she asked pointedly.

"Uh…no…uh…wait, if Sam's on the phone, why am I not talking directly to him?" Josh queried, deflecting Donna's question.

"I figured if you and Sam started talking now, you'd get distracted again and forget about whatever you're supposed to be working on at the moment, meaning you'd have to catch up on that over lunch and wouldn't be able to meet him," she answered, almost in one breath.

Josh stared at her for a second. "I wouldn't get distracted," he protested.

"Uh huh, sure," Donna humored. "Josh, what are you supposed to be working on right now?"

"Uh…" he hedged, scrabbling around on his desk looking for clues. Grabbing the first document that came to hand he held it up and smiled triumphantly at Donna. Noticing her smirk, he looked at the paper more closely. "Damn," he sighed, realizing he'd picked up a page from the draft of the new education bill, the one on which he had drawn cartoons on the back for half an hour that morning; he had held it up with the back facing Donna, hence her amusement.

"You don't get distracted, huh?"

"Tell Sam I'll meet him for lunch. He can name the place," Josh replied, ignoring Donna's chuckle.

"You know, I'm available over lunch as well, " Donna hinted.

"Not any more you're not," he replied.

"I'm not?" she questioned brightly, her spirits lifted.

"No, you'll now need to man the phones while I'm out," he smirked, watching her roll her eyes in exasperation. "However," he continued, "if you're extra nice to me, I might just bring you something back, you know, my leftovers."

"Go back to your doodling!" She stormed out of the office, not really mad, but determined to make a point. However, she knew she'd failed when she heard Josh's hearty laugh echoing around his office.

*

"No way!"

"Aww, come on, Josh, it'll be fun."

"No way, Sam," he repeated more firmly.

"Why not?" Sam practically whined.

"Sam, in case you've forgotten, I'm the White House DCoS."

"I know that, Josh; what's your point?"

"I can't be a contestant in a date auction."

"You mean, you *won't* be," Sam huffed.

"Sam," he sighed. "Look, the answer is no. I can't believe you thought I'd even consider this."

"Josh, it'll be fun," Sam persisted. "You might even get a date with the woman of your dreams."

Josh looked at him like he had grown two heads. "I seriously doubt that. Now, can we change the subject?"

"No, we can't, not until you agree to participate in the auction. Come on, Josh, it's in aid of a D.C. children's shelter."

Josh let out a long sigh. "Fine," he grudgingly agreed. "I'll participate, but only *participate*. I will go to the thing and I'll donate some money, but I won't be letting anyone bid on me and I won't be bidding on anyone."

"Josh –"

"No, Sam."

"Oh, okay, I understand," Sam smiled, puzzling Josh.

"You understand what?" Josh queried suspiciously.

"You're scared," he accused.

"I am *not* scared," Josh immediately defended. "Scared of what?"

"You're scared that no-one will bid on you."

"Right, like that's gonna happen," scoffed Josh. "I have my own fanclub remember."  
  
"Okay, so, if you're not worried about *that*, what is it?"

"I'm not worried at all," Josh insisted. "I'm just not interested in being a piece of meat in your charity meat market."  
  
"You're worried that I'll be bought for more than you," Sam grinned.

"Seriously, Sam, are you delusional? You must be if you think that could happen. As I said, I have my own fanclub, *and* I have a website devoted to me, complete with a section on fantasy dates with me; I'm sure people will be prepared to pay good money to make those fantasies come true."

"Yeah, except the fantasies won't come true." Josh raised his eyebrows in curiosity and Sam elaborated, "You're not exactly young anymore, Josh. I mean, have you actually *read* those posts? There's no way you'd be able to do some of the things they fantasize about."

"Okay, firstly, what the hell are *you* doing reading posts about people's fantasy dates with *me*?"

"Donna read them and told me," Sam replied immediately.

"Donna's read them?" Josh seemed surprised and he contemplated Sam's words for a few moments. "Anyway, what do you mean I wouldn't be able to fulfill the fantasies? Are you questioning my manhood?" During his rant, Josh's voice had grown considerably louder and they were now receiving stares from the other restaurant customers. Josh laughed a little when he realized how his words could be misinterpreted and he shot Sam a glare, as if to blame him.

"Will you do it?" Sam asked.

"Yes, but only because it's for a good cause; I don't need to prove anything."

"Sure, whatever," Sam smiled.

*

"Josh, do you know what time the thing starts on Saturday? Sam was supposed to call me when it was arranged but he hasn't and I can't get hold of him."

"What thing?"  
  
"The charity date auction."  
  
"*You're* going?" he asked with surprise.

"Yeah."

"Ah, you're going so you can bid on me, huh?" he grinned.

"You don't pay me enough to bid on you, Josh."

Josh smirked at her comment. "Does that mean you think the bidding will get pretty high for me?"  
  
"No, it means that I'm not going to waste what little spare cash I have bidding for a date with *you*," Donna shot back.

"Hey! Well, if you're not going to bid on me, what are you going for? I swear Donna, if I end up with some old lady and you comment on it, you'll regret it."

"Actually, as appealing as that sounds," she grinned, "I'm going because I am also in the auction."  
  
"Excuse me?" he queried incredulously.

"I'm in the auction," she repeated. "People will be bidding on me as well."  


"They will?" His tone held a trace of worry and Donna smiled.

"Don't worry, Josh, I'm sure there won't be any gomers there; the tickets are pretty expensive, Sam's organized this well."

Josh didn't look convinced. "When did Sam arrange this with you?"

"He called me after he had lunch with you, he wanted to get you on board before he asked anyone else in the West Wing; I don't know why but, I think he wanted to be able to use your participation as a way of convincing everyone else."  
  
"So, who else is taking part?"

"Will, Charlie, a few Congressmen and Senators, a couple of high profile restaurateurs and I think Sam managed to persuade a couple of single ballplayers from the Baltimore Orioles."

"All guys? Are you going to be the only female?" His worry was now clearly evident.

"No," she laughed. "CJ's taking part, so is a female member of Congress, along with Ginger and I think he got a few other women as well but, I'm not too sure of the details. There will be more guys than women, but what does it matter?"

"It matters," Josh muttered.

"Josh?" 

"Hmm, oh, nothing. I think it starts at 8 on Saturday night, but we're supposed to be there an hour beforehand."

"Okay."

Donna started to leave his office and then Josh asked, "Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Huh?"

"To take you to the thing? It seems stupid taking two cars."

"Oh, yeah, I was gonna see if I could go with Ginger but, yeah, that would be good."

"Me taking you?" he clarified.

"Yeah, thanks," she smiled.

"No problem."

*

"Alright, is everybody clear on what's happening?" Sam asked the assembled 'contestants' backstage in the ballroom of the hotel hosting the charity auction. "Any questions?"  
  
"Yeah," CJ said, "what's the order? Is it all the guys then the women?"

"No," Sam replied, "there are more guys though, so we're gonna have the first three guys, then alternate guy/girl until all the women are finished, then we'll have the remaining guys. Any more questions?"

"Yeah, when are you gonna be up for auction, Sam?" asked Donna.

"I'm third," he informed her.

"What about Josh?" CJ inquired.

"He's last."  
  
"I'm last?" Josh questioned.

"Yeah, they say you should save the best until last, but I'm the MC so I can't really go last, therefore, you'll have to do" Sam grinned.

Josh narrowed his eyes at Sam and then whirled round to glare at a chuckling Donna.

*

"How did you get roped into this then?" Josh asked Will as they waited backstage.

"It's for charity, I couldn't really refuse."

"Sam questioned your manhood as well, huh?"  
  
"Yeah."

"How 'bout you, Charlie? What made you agree?"  
  
Charlie remained silent for a moment and then quipped, "Sam told me it would piss you off when I get higher bids than you."

"That won't happen," Josh said firmly.

"Now, now, boys, play nice," CJ laughed, overhearing their conversation.

*

"Okay guys, I'll see you later," Donna said, walking past Josh, Will and Charlie.

"Where are you going? You're not on yet."

"No, Josh, I'm not, but I need to be out there if I want to bid."  
  
"Who are you going to bid on?" he asked. "I'm last remember."

"Sam."  
  
"Sam?"

"Yeah."

"You're bidding on Sam?" he queried in disbelief.

"Of course I am; have you seen how good he looks in his tux?"

"Donna, are we going?" CJ asked, approaching the group, Ginger by her side.

"Please don't tell me you're bidding on Sam as well, CJ."  
  
"Josh, that man can wear a tux."

"Just remember to save some money to bid on me."  
  
"I thought you said you wouldn't need it, Josh," Donna stated.

"I don't, but that's not the point."

"Bye, Josh," laughed Donna, leaving him staring after her as she and CJ entered the ballroom. Josh followed them out, hoping that Donna would finally take off her coat; she'd been wearing it when he picked her up at her apartment and she hadn't yet taken it off, claiming it was too cold backstage. He knew that wasn't the real reason, he knew she was waiting until it was her turn to be auctioned before she would remove her coat but, he followed her into the ballroom anyway, hoping that it would be too warm in there for her to keep wearing it.

*

Sam had handed over to the temporary MC, Danny Concannon, and gone backstage to prepare for his entrance. The two previous men to be auctioned had raised $750 between them and Sam was determined to fetch more than that, if only to give Josh a run for his money.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen…well, I guess just the ladies actually," Danny laughed, "this next guy is difficult to describe. He's a good guy, a nice guy, but not *too* nice, if you know what I mean." He let the statement hang for a moment as everyone chuckled. "Anyway, he's pretty young and I'm told he's very handsome and can wear a tux in a way that should be made illegal," he continued, staring pointedly at CJ. "He really needs no introduction…but, I'll give him one anyway. Ladies, here is Congressman…Sam…Seaborn!"

The majority of women in the audience had been eyeing Sam since the event started, as he made the introductory speech and acted as MC for the first two 'lots'. Now that he was coming up for auction himself there was much cheering and squeals of delight. Each person had been asked to choose a song that they wanted to walk down the catwalk to, and Sam had chosen Rod Stewart's 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy'. He made the most of his entrance, removing his tux jacket and casually throwing it over his left shoulder. Catching Josh's eye, he strutted down the catwalk with a grin on his face, blushing slightly as he heard wolfwhistles, and then laughing out loud as CJ yelled "You're mine, Seaborn!"

Josh watched from the back of the room as the bidding on Sam started. It quickly reached $1000 and Josh gulped, knowing he'd never hear the end of it if Sam had a higher bid than he did. CJ and Donna had been involved in the bidding and Sam had actually had the gall to smirk at Josh when Donna bid $500; Josh gave him a pointed look and Sam started to look a little frightened. Sam was visibly relieved when Donna's bid was overtaken and she didn't participate further.

The bidding on Sam finally stopped at $3500, though Sam had no idea who had won as the woman's face was hidden behind her auction paddle. Josh, however, could see the woman clearly and he was grinning widely when he met Sam backstage.

"You're in for a treat, buddy," he gleefully informed Sam.

"You know who my date is?"

"Yep."

"Well, who is it?" Sam demanded.

"Uh, am I allowed to tell you?"

"Josh."

"No, I mean, aren't you supposed to go and meet them or something? Should I really tell you before that?"  
  
"Josh, everyone else gets to meet their date as soon as they come offstage, I can't do that 'cos I have to go and MC again in about two minutes. Tell me who it is."

"Okay…it's Mallory."  
  
"Ma…Mallory?" Sam spluttered.

"Yep. Mallory O'Brien, otherwise known as Leo McGarry's daughter."

"You're kidding me." Sam sagged against a table trying to take in the information.

"No, I'm not. She was at the back of the room, sitting at a table with a couple of people I don't know. As the bidding went on, she just motioned with her paddle and looked remarkably calm. I gotta say though, when Danny said that she'd won, she had a look of pure delight on her face."

"Mallory," Sam repeated. "Wow."

"Yeah. Now, aren't you supposed to be back out there?" Josh said, pointing towards the entrance to the 'stage'.

"Yeah, but…"  
  
"Sam, she'll still be here when you're finished."

"Yeah." Sam slowly dragged himself towards the stage and took a moment to regain his composure before walking out and accepting the microphone from Danny.

"Okay, next up, we have the first of our ladies to be auctioned off this evening…"

*

There was much amusement as Charlie walked down the catwalk to the song 'The Boys Are Back In Town', showing off his dance moves along the way. There was a lot of interest in him, and some fierce bidding, and he was finally auctioned off for $1200 to a young college student. He approached her table and spent the rest of the evening getting to know her while waiting for his friends to be auctioned.

*

CJ's turn to be auctioned arrived and she took to the catwalk to the tune of 'Hot Stuff' by Donna Summer. Danny sat in the audience enraptured by her appearance and her saucy strides up and down the catwalk. When she finally stopped on the stage, Sam applauded wildly before he opened up the bidding.

As expected, Danny started the bidding on CJ, making an opening bid of $500. CJ rolled her eyes at him, but she couldn't stop the smile forming on her face. There was another serious bidder giving Danny competition, a player from the Baltimore Orioles who had been speaking to CJ backstage. His bank balance was much healthier than Danny's and he kept driving the price up. Sam was amazed when a bid of $4000 was made and Danny's shoulders slumped, as he had to concede defeat.

"Okay, for four thousand dollars, CJ Cregg is going, going –"  
  
"Five thousand dollars!" a voice boomed, startling everyone. It wasn't Danny and all heads swiveled to get a look at the person making the bid. Neither CJ, Sam or Danny appeared to recognize the man and CJ wondered who he was and why he would raise the bid by so much.

"Uh, okay," Sam said slowly. "The bid is against you, sir," he said to the ballplayer; no further bid was forthcoming. "Alright then, for *five* thousand dollars, CJ Cregg goes to the man with paddle number 258. Thank you sir, and thank you, CJ."

CJ left the stage and, instead of going backstage, she headed for the table where Danny was sitting.

"Nice try, fish boy, but you gotta do better if you want a date with me," she said into his ear.

"You look fantastic," Danny replied, his face showing his disappointment.

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "Now, I gotta go meet my date." CJ walked in the direction of the man holding paddle number 258 but, as she approached, he headed for the men's room. She decided to wait for him and took a seat at his table.

*

The mysterious man with paddle number 258 still hadn't returned by the time the next male had been auctioned off and CJ started looking around for him. As she moved away from the table she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned around, coming face to face with Danny.

"Hi," he smiled.

"Hi, sorry, I can't talk right now, I need to find my date."

"Do you know what he looks like?" Danny asked.

"Uh, not really," she admitted, "but he's carrying paddle number 258."

"Like this one?" he queried, holding up a paddle that had the number 258 displayed.

"What, did you mug him in the bathroom or something? Are you that desperate to get a date with me?" she smirked.

"No, I was given it; I guess the guy decided he didn't want to date you after all." CJ glared at him and Danny continued, "Actually, he was a dummy bidder."

"What do you mean?"  
  
"He was asked to bid on behalf of someone else."

"You?" she asked incredulously.

"No, the press corps."  
  
"What?" CJ was totally confused.

"The press corps had a whip round and raised enough money to ensure that I would win you at the auction; they knew I had a limit of $3500."

"And they donated $5000 between them? I find that hard to believe." 

"So did I, but it's true. Apparently, they think you'll be nicer to them once you've been treated to a date with me."

"Actually, I'm gonna kick their asses."

  
Danny shrugged. "Hey, that's fine with me; either way, I get a date with you and you can't say no 'cos it's for charity."

"Fine," CJ grudgingly agreed. "But, I get to pick when and where."

"Uh, no, that's not the way it works; the person who won you gets to arrange the date."

"Not with this woman he doesn't and anyway, *you* didn't win me."

"Okay, we'll compromise." CJ raised her eyebrows and waited for him to explain. "You can pick the day and time but, I get to pick where. I'll pick you up from the White House and take you, okay?"

"You know I'm only doing this because it's for charity and it would be bad press if I pulled out, right?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"As long as we're clear on that," CJ said, turning away before a smile crossed her face.

"Crystal," Danny said to ensure he got the last word. CJ didn't look back, she just kept walking and headed backstage to find Donna and Ginger.

*

"Did you meet your date?" Donna asked excitedly as CJ joined everyone backstage.

"Yes."  
  
"So, who is it then? Who's the mystery man?" This time, it was Josh doing the questioning and CJ was amused at his interest.

"I don't know if I should tell you."

"Aww, come on, CJ. I just wanna wind Danny up about it."

"That will be difficult," she said cryptically.

"Why?" Josh asked, his brow furrowed.

"Because it *is* Danny."

"Huh? I thought he got beaten out?" Will queried.

"Yeah, but apparently the press corps hate me…they did a collective bid and *donated* me to Danny."

Josh couldn't help himself and burst out laughing, earning a swat on the arm from Donna.

"I'm sorry, CJ, I know you don't think it's funny but…it really is," Josh laughed. "You should be honored, I mean, you raised five thousand dollars tonight."

"Yes, but I have a feeling that I should have held out for *ten* thousand if I have to suffer a date with Danny."

"Oh, come on, CJ; we know you don't mean that," Donna said.

"I really do."

"She really doesn't," Josh whispered in Donna's ear.

"Will Bailey, you're up next," a voice called out, reminding them all of what was still to come.

"Good luck," Josh said, patting Will on the back.

"Have fun, Will, I'm sure you'll be fine," Donna chimed in.

"Hey, what music did you pick?" CJ called out as Will headed for the stage. He didn't answer her, but turned around and gave a sly smile. At that moment, the voice of Coldplay's Chris Martin could be heard over the speakers and Donna started to laugh.

"What? What is it?" Josh demanded, having no clue about the piece of music being played.

"It's Coldplay, the band," Donna enlightened.

"So? What's so funny?"  
  
"The song's name…it's 'Politik'," she chuckled.

"Very apt," CJ laughed.

"It still doesn't beat mine," Josh stated.

"Why? What song have you chosen?" CJ questioned.

"He won't tell you, CJ. I've been trying to find out for days and he refused to tell me."  
  
"I'll just go ask the guy in charge of the music then," CJ said, starting to walk away from them.

"There's no point, CJ; I have the cd in my pocket, he's not going to get it until I go onstage," Josh pointed out. "You'll both just have to wait."

"Damn. What about you, Donna, what have you chosen?"

"You'll find out soon enough, CJ; I'm on pretty soon."

*

Will's highest bid was $2000 and he left the stage feeling pretty good about himself. He headed into the audience to meet his bidder and discovered it was a friend of Mallory's, another teacher. Mallory informed him that she was the person who had the winning bid on Sam and Will decided to stay and keep the ladies company and watch the rest of the proceedings from there, while trying to get information from Mallory as to what she had planned for Sam.

*

End of Chapter 1…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers, etc. as in Chapter 1

**

"Well, this should be fun," CJ told Danny as she slipped into a seat beside him.

"Our date? Yes, it will be."

"No, not our date. I meant, Donna is the next person up for auction."

"Yeah? Where's Josh?" Danny asked, scanning the room.

"He's over there," CJ said, pointing at Josh leaning against a wall at the back of the room. She motioned for him to join them but he shook his head.

CJ motioned again but Josh remained leaning against the wall; she rose from her seat and walked towards him.

"Josh, come over and keep me company," CJ demanded.

"Nah, I'm fine here."

"Josh, you need to come and make sure I don't kill Danny," she smiled. "Come on, we can watch everyone bidding on Donna."  
  
"No, really, I'd rather stay here," Josh insisted.

"Is that so you can bid on Donna and not be noticed?" she guessed.

"No."

"Well, come sit with us then," she said, tugging on his arm.

"Fine," he sighed, allowing her to pull him to a chair.

"Hey, Josh."  
  
"Hey, Danny."

Josh had just sat down next to CJ when Sam started Donna's introduction.

"Now, I have the pleasure of introducing one of my best friends," Sam smiled. "She's a remarkable woman who can hold her own in the White House. Believe me, she knows how to put the likes of Josh Lyman and Toby Ziegler in their place and still keep her sanity. So, please give a warm welcome to Donnatella Moss."

Donna emerged to the sounds of Dolly Parton singing 'Nine To Five' and CJ started laughing.

"That's very appropriate," she chuckled. "You know, if you think of it as 9am one day until 5am the following day."

"Hey, I'm not that bad," Josh grumbled.

"I know, and so does Donna. Listen to the lyrics of the song, Josh."

He listened and smiled as he heard Dolly singing that she loved her job, despite all the hassles.

"She looks wonderful," Danny commented.

Josh's eyes were fixed on Donna as she walked down the catwalk. She could feel his eyes on her and she looked back at him, watching his smile grow as she caught his eye.

"Yeah, she really does," CJ agreed.

They both looked at Josh, waiting for him to speak, but he remained silent; he was rendered speechless by the vision of Donna. The song playing was fast and she was walking the catwalk at a fairly brisk pace, the slit in her dress revealing just enough of her left thigh with every step. Josh realized why she'd kept her coat on for so long, she wanted to surprise everyone.

"Josh, are you alright?" CJ asked, breaking him from his trance and forcing him to remove his gaze from Donna and direct his attention to his companions.

"Yeah, I'm fine. She…she looks amazing," he said in a voice full of emotion.

"Are you sure you're not going to bid on her?"

Josh gave a small smile and returned his gaze to Donna.

"Okay, as usual, we'll start the bidding at $100," Sam announced as Donna stopped walking and stood beside him on the stage. "You look stunning," he whispered to her. Donna blushed and dipped her head slightly.

"One hundred dollars," a man in the audience shouted.

"Two hundred," another voice called.

"Three hundred."  
  
The bids quickly rose to the thousand-dollar mark and Donna was smiling, glad she was raising so much money for the children's shelter.

"Aren't you even gonna make a gesture of bidding on her, Josh?" CJ asked.

"I didn't think I should," he answered.

"I think everyone expects you to, Josh," Danny said. "Won't Donna be hurt if you don't even make one offer?"

The bids had risen again while they talked and Josh finally shouted, "Fourteen hundred dollars."

Donna beamed at Josh, her eyes silently thanking him, as someone else upped the ante to fifteen hundred dollars.

"Uh, hang on a second," Sam said, temporarily halting proceedings. He turned to speak to the assistant who had just tapped him on the shoulder. "Okay, well it seems the lovely Donna has also attracted the attentions of someone who can't be here tonight; we have a phone bidder as well. The person has agreed to add the price of a ticket to tonight's event to their bid, so I guess we can let them in on this. The bidding is now at sixteen hundred dollars."

The bidding increased steadily, going back and forth between two Orioles players and the person on the phone. CJ glanced at Josh every so often, trying to gauge his reaction, but his expression was unreadable.

"Alright, we're now at forty five hundred dollars, let's see if we can break the record set earlier this evening by CJ Cregg. Do I have five thousand dollars?"

One of the Oriole players nodded his head and Donna blushed profusely, having never expected to raise so much money.

Sam looked to his assistant who was receiving the phone bids. "We have a bid of fifty five hundred dollars on the phone. It's against you, sir," he told the Oriole player.

"She can't end up with the Oriole player," Josh muttered. "Toby would never talk to her again."

"Well, that's a very good reason *to* end up with him," CJ grinned. "What about you, would you talk to her if she dated an Oriole player?"

Josh ignored the question and listened to Sam saying the Oriole player had accepted the bid and it was now at $6000 against the guy on the phone.

The bidding on Donna finally ended at $7500, being won by the guy on the phone. CJ, Danny and Josh headed backstage to greet Donna as Sam introduced the next guy up for auction; there would only be two more guys before Josh's turn.

*

"Did you find out who won you then, Donna?" asked Danny.

"No, the guy didn't want me to know who he is, he swore the assistant to secrecy. Apparently, I'll get a note telling me when and where to meet him."

"Isn't that a little dangerous?" Josh said with worry.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. CJ, would you come with me, just until I see who it is?" Donna asked.

"Of course I will," CJ assured. "Hey, who did Ginger end up with? I was in the bathroom when she was on."

"Oh, a really cute legislative assistant. He bid two thousand dollars," Donna informed them all.

*

"Josh Lyman, you're on," a voice said a few minutes later.

Josh started stretching his muscles and turned to Donna and CJ. "Well, ladies, you'd better get out there so you can bid on me," he grinned.

"No, we'd better get out there so we can laugh at you," CJ retorted.

"Whatever, just get outta here so I can get myself ready."

Donna and CJ rolled their eyes but left Josh and headed into the audience. They sat down next to Danny, still trying to figure out what Josh had chosen as his entrance music.

"Alright, we now come to the last auction of the night," Sam announced. "This guy is like a brother to me but, I gotta warn you, he's also very egotistical. So, despite the fact we're trying to raise as much money as we can tonight, please, keep the bids as low as possible or the rest of us will never hear the end of it."

"Sam!" Josh yelled from the side of the stage, his voice being picked up by Sam's microphone and prompting the entire room to laugh.

"Okay," Sam chuckled. "Here he is ladies, it's White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Joshua Lyman!"

Donna used the brief lull before Josh's entrance to look around the room. She noticed a group of fairly young women sitting at a table beside the catwalk and pointed them out to CJ.

"What do you reckon, CJ, are they Josh's fanclub? They look like grad students."

The song heralding Josh's entrance drowned out CJ's answer; it was 'Wild Thing' by the Troggs.

"Oh my God," Donna groaned, watching Josh strut down the catwalk. He stopped at the end and winked at Donna as he untied his bowtie. The expression on Donna's face was enough to get Josh grinning widely and he copied Sam's earlier action by removing his tux jacket and swinging it onto his left shoulder. Then, while the catcalls got louder, he started rolling up his shirtsleeves to reveal his muscular forearms. 

"You know, I'm having a sudden urge to max out my credit card," CJ grinned. "Why have I never noticed Josh's arms before?"

"Hey, you already have a date," Danny objected.

"Ah, but a girl can't have too much fun," CJ smiled, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Okay, apparently we have a phone bidder for Josh here as well," Sam said over the whistles. "So, let's get this started. Who'll give me an opening bid of one hundred dollars?"

Josh was leaning casually against the podium, smirking wildly at Sam as the bidding frenzy started. He recognized many of the women in the audience – some from the Hill, some lobbyists and some well-known businesswomen. He also immediately noticed the table of grad students and gave them a dimpled smile, making them squeal loudly.

"CJ," Donna said over the noise, "can I come work for you? Josh is going to be unbearable after all this."

"Don't worry, he hasn't beaten Sam yet, and he'll never beat the amount you raised; you can beat him over the head with that."

"I dunno, CJ, some of these women are literally drooling, and they have money."

"Okay, I tell you what," CJ replied, "if he starts getting unbearable, I'll help you kick his ass."

"Thanks."

*

The bidding on Josh was the fiercest it had been all evening and he amused himself by strutting up and down the catwalk again, making a show of the twirl he gave when turning around to head back to the stage.

"Look at that, ladies," Sam said as Josh walked towards him, "you can tell from that twirl that he wanted to be a ballerina, can't you?"

Josh glared at him but, as the women cheered and applauded, he twirled around again, bowed, and then walked back to the podium.

"You know, for someone who didn't want to be in this, you sure look as though you're having a lot of fun," Sam whispered to him.

"What's the bidding at now, Sam? Oh yeah, about a thousand dollars more than you got, and still climbing," Josh replied with a grin.

*

The bidding finally came down to two people – Mara Doyle, a partner in one of the top D.C. lawfirms, and the phone bidder.

"Okay, the bid is at seven thousand against you, Ms Doyle," Sam said. When Mara raised the bid to $6500, Sam looked at Donna and said, "Donna, I'm sorry; I know if Josh raises more than you, he'll rub it in forever more."

Josh didn't know if that was what put Mara off, or if she had a limit anyway but, the phone bidder raised the bid to $7000 and Mara conceded.

"Alright, Joshua Lyman will be having a date with whomever is on the phone, for the fantastic price of seven thousand dollars. Josh," Sam said, turning to face his friend, "I hope she thinks you're worth it once she actually meets you."

*

Sam wrapped up the event and thanked everyone for helping to raise an astonishing amount of money for the children's shelter; he then headed backstage to find Josh, Donna, CJ, Danny, Charlie and Ginger.

"So, did everyone have fun tonight?" he asked as he approached the group.

"Some more than others, I think," CJ replied, looking pointedly at Josh, who grinned back at her.

"Hey, Sam, here comes your date," Josh said, nodding to Mallory who had just arrived.

"Oh, right, excuse me." Sam left the group and greeted Mallory before she reached them. "Hi."

"Hi, Sam."

"I believe you won me."

"I believe I did."

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"  
  
"Why did you bid on me?"  
  
"You didn't want me to?" Mallory asked with surprise and hurt.

"No, I just…I mean, you didn't have to bid on me to get a date with me."

"I needed the excuse."  
  
"What do you mean?" Sam turned around and saw all his friends watching him. Grabbing Mallory's arm, he led her to a side room. "What do you mean you needed the excuse?" he repeated.

"For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to just ask you out on a date again. This way though, I can tell myself that it's because it's for a good cause."

"Three thousand five hundred dollars is a lot of money though."

"Are you saying you're not worth it?" she smirked.

"I'm saying, can you afford it?" he asked, ignoring her jibe.

"Yes, Sam, I can afford it…well, my father can afford it," she grinned.

"Your…your father?" Sam gulped, looking a little scared.

"Relax, I'm joking; I'm not about to ask my father for money so I can pay for a date with you."

"Can I pay the money instead?"

"What?"

"Instead of you paying the money, I'll pay it," he offered.

"Sam, there's no need, really; I can afford it."

"Well, how about we go halves?"  
  
"How about you let me pay the money and you shut up?"

"Okay," he slowly agreed.

"You can buy dinner though," Mallory tossed over her shoulder as she left the room to join the others.

*

"Hey, Donna."

"Oh, hi, CJ." Before Donna could say anymore, CJ entered Josh's office to get some information from him.

CJ emerged again a few minutes later and Donna took her opportunity. "CJ?"

"Yes?" CJ walked into Donna's cubicle and stopped beside her desk.

"Are you busy tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow as in Friday?"

"Yes," Donna laughed.

"Umm, no, well not at the moment. Why?"

"I heard from my date."  
  
"Your date? Oh, from the auction?"

"Yeah, and you said you'd come with me; are you still willing?"

"Of course I am, I just didn't expect him to wait nearly a week before arranging something. When, and how, did he get in touch?"

"He sent me flowers this morning. The card had a codeword on it that he gave to phone operator at the auction, so I'd know it was really him. Anyway, he wants me to be at the Sculpture Garden tomorrow night at 9."

"Are you going from here?"

"Yeah, Josh grudgingly agreed to let me leave around 8:45."

"Grudgingly? Do I need to have word with him?"

"No, CJ," she laughed. "It's just that…he doesn't want me hanging around the Sculpture Garden at night, that's all. He asked if I wanted him to go with me."

"And you said no?"

"Of course I said no. How would it look to the guy if I turn up for our date with my male boss in tow?"

"Point taken, but it was sweet of him to ask," CJ allowed.

"I know," Donna smiled, her eyes catching Josh's retreating figure in his office doorway. "I told him I'd only go if you were going with me and he seemed happy enough with that."

*

"Donna?" CJ called as she wandered into the bullpen and found Donna's desk empty. "Donna? Oh, there you are," she said, discovering Donna sitting in Josh's office, taking notes. "Are you ready to go?"

Donna glanced at her watch and Josh looked at his own.

"It's not time to go," Josh objected. "I said 8:45, it's only 8:30."  
  
"Josh, it will take us longer than fifteen minutes to walk to the Sculpture Garden," CJ pointed out in a tone telling him not to be so obtuse.

"Well, aren't you supposed to be fashionably late or something?"  
  
"That's weddings, Josh, not dates," Donna laughed. "Can I go?"

"I suppose," he shrugged, not looking very happy. "Although, we do still have work to do."  
  
"Josh, if you need a hand, I'm sure Ginger or someone will help you out."

"No, I guess I'll survive, it's not like Donna's indispensable or anything."  
  
"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence there, Joshua," Donna said in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "Let's go, CJ."

The two women left the office, with Josh staring after them, wondering what the hell had just happened.

*

"So, have you had your date with Danny yet?" Donna asked as she and CJ walked the few blocks from the White House to the Sculpture Garden. "You've kept very quiet about it all."

CJ shook her head. "It's tomorrow; I managed to convince him I was far too busy during the week and wouldn't be able to give him my full attention."

"Does he know you're pretty much free tonight?"

"I told him I was busy tonight, helping out a friend, which is true." Donna smiled. "Hey, did your date give any clues as to his name or what he looks like?"  
  
"No, the card with the flowers just said to be in the Sculpture Garden at 9 tonight and he would find me."

"Well, that's either very romantic or very creepy."

"I know; let's just hope it's the former," Donna said.

*

"Hi," a familiar voice said, emerging from behind a sculpture at the other end of the garden from CJ and Donna.

"Josh? What are you doing here?" Donna questioned. He stared at her as he walked towards them, but remained silent. "Oh, Josh," Donna said, "are you still worried about my safety? Look, I'll be fine, you don't need to be here."

Josh stopped just in front of Donna. Turning to CJ, he said, "Excuse us for a moment, please." He placed a hand on Donna's arm and led her away from CJ.

"Josh?"

"Donna," he said quietly, "codeword Simba."

Donna's eyes grew wide with shock. She thought for a moment and remembered that she had removed the card from her flowers before anyone else could read it. She hadn't told anyone the codeword, so there was only one way Josh could know it; he had to have been the person who created it.

"Josh?" she said slowly. "You…you sent the flowers?" Josh nodded his head and smiled. "You bid on me at the auction?" He nodded again. "But, I thought…you made a bid, I remember, but only once, you didn't continue. It was a phone bidder that…won me; how could you…"

"I got a friend to call on my behalf," he informed her, stuffing his hands in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to her.

"Who?"

"Mike Casper."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he thought it was pretty funny, and he promised not to say anything to anyone; he's in the FBI, I trust him," Josh grinned.

"Did you expect him to pay as much? I mean, did you get mad when he bid so much?"  
  
"No, I didn't get mad. I didn't give him a limit, just told him to offer as much as he had to…to do whatever it took to make sure I got a date with you."  
  
"But…why, Josh? I don't understand. Why like this?"

Josh opened his mouth to answer, but then caught sight of CJ looking at her watch.

"Listen, why don't we go tell CJ that she can go home. We'll go someplace and talk."  
  
"Talk? That's your idea of a date, is it?"

"Hey, I paid seventy five hundred dollars to get a date with you tonight, I can't afford to take you out to dinner as well."

Donna rolled her eyes at him as she walked towards CJ.

"CJ, thanks for coming, but you can go home now."  
  
"I can? What about your date though, won't Josh being here scare the guy off?"

Donna looked at Josh, not sure if he wanted her to reveal his secret.

"I *am* the guy, CJ," he said quietly.

"What?!"

"Go home, CJ," Josh instructed, his body language saying he wasn't going to tell her any more.

"Donna, we are *so* gonna talk tomorrow," CJ said, smiling at her friend. "Have a good night then," she laughed, walking out of the garden.

"So, where are we going to *talk*?" Donna asked, looking at Josh curiously.

"Well, my car is parked on the street there," he said, pointing in the general direction of his car, "so, I was thinking we could go to my place."

"Your place?" Donna queried, her eyebrows meeting her hairline.

"Don't worry," he laughed, "I'll take you home later."

Donna linked her arm through Josh's and allowed him to lead her to his car.

"Do you have any food at home? I haven't eaten since lunch," Donna said. "I was kinda expecting a dinner date."

"Like I said, I can't afford dinner," Josh smiled.

"Is that your way of saying you'll stop for chinese but I gotta pay?" Josh just grinned and Donna tightened her grip on his arm. "Typical!"

*

"Josh, are you ever going to tell me why you felt the need to pay seven and a half thousand dollars for a date with me?" Donna asked around a mouthful of food. They were sitting on the couch in Josh's apartment, cartons of food strewn over the coffee table in front of them.

"You're worth every cent, Donna," he told her sincerely, twisting on the couch so that he could look at her.

"Thanks," she blushed. "But, you're not answering my question. Why didn't you just ask me out?"

"Honestly?" Donna nodded. "I have no idea. I…I couldn't find the words, somehow this seemed easier. I never know how to do these things."

"But you spent a lot of money."

"I can afford it," he shrugged. "Anyway, you don't know the half of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Hey, do you want some more beer?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, thanks, since I'm not driving."

Josh rose from the couch and retrieved two more bottles of beer from the fridge.

"Hey, *you* are driving," Donna said pointedly as Josh handed her a bottle and sat down.

"I know, this is my second and last," he promised.

They ate the rest of their meal in relative silence, both unsure of what to say and do, and of where things were going. Josh cleared the cartons away when they finished and returned to find Donna had curled her legs under herself on the couch, leaning against one end.

"Okay, I guess I owe you a proper explanation, huh?" he said as he sat down beside her. Donna turned wide eyes to him and he positioned himself on the couch so that he was facing her. "I've…I've been wanting to ask you out for a while, Donna, I just didn't know how. I couldn't face you rejecting me…I needed to be sure."

"So, you thought you'd force me into a date with you by bidding on me at an auction?" she queried.

Josh became alarmed until he noticed the glint in her eyes. "Well, I'd be a fool to let the opportunity pass me by."

"And you are by no means a fool."

"No, I'm not…although, I've been a fool to wait this long," he said honestly, holding her gaze.

"You got there in the end, Josh; that's what counts." Donna smiled at him and moved away from the end of the couch, so that she was closer to him, but still not too close. "I gotta say though, if you expect a second date, it'll have to improve on this one; I don't usually have to buy dinner for my dates." Josh grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "Although," Donna continued, "maybe you won't *want* a second date with me."

"Huh?" he questioned, brow furrowed.

"Well, you still have to have your date with the person who won you at the auction; maybe you'll prefer her." Donna's tone was teasing, but it held a trace of insecurity.

"Donna," Josh said seriously, moving closer to her and placing a hand on her arm, "that won't happen, I can guarantee it, for two reasons." She looked at him questioningly, while instinctively moving into his touch.

"What reasons?" she prompted.

"Number one," he smiled, "I'd never *not* want a second date with you." His voice was full of emotion and he moved his hand from Donna's arm to her left cheek. "And number two, the person who bought me, is you."

"What?!" Donna exclaimed, recoiling to the end of the couch. "Josh, I don't know where you got that idea from but, I didn't bid on you," she informed him, almost apologetically.

"I know," he grinned. "It was my mom, and she's…donating me to you."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah, I asked her to bid on my behalf."

"Wait, you were effectively bidding on *yourself*?" she chuckled.

"No, I…okay, well, yeah, I guess it could be construed that way but…I wanted to make sure I didn't have to date anyone except you." Donna melted at the tone in his voice and the intense look in his eyes.

"So, your mom is *donating* you to *me*?"

"Yep."

"Hmm, interesting. I guess I'll need to think of somewhere for us to go then, won't I?"

"I guess so," Josh agreed.

"Although, I don't know if I should take her up on her offer."  
  
"What? Why not?" he demanded to know.

"Well, if *I* take you out then, technically, it will be another *first* date, rather than a second date."

"Ah, well, it *would* be," he said, "if it wasn't for the fact that, since you paid for dinner, this could be construed as *you* taking *me* out tonight; therefore, it would actually be our second date."

"You have an answer for everything, don't you?"

"Yep."

"Okay, well, here's another question for you."

"Go ahead," Josh smiled. He had moved closer to her again and his hand was now caressing her arm.

Donna gave him an enigmatic smile. "Is this a full-service date?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, searching her face.

"Josh, have another beer; there's no need for you to drive tonight."

*

The End


End file.
